is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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