Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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