its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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