You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
