i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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