waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I intend to get homeless drunk
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
