It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
