I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
