Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
