I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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