omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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