omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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