made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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