The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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