I hate all girls vehemently.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
