Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
