lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
