What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
