If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
