I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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