Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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