My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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