dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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