I cockslap morals
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
