Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
