I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
