Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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