Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
