And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
