Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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