farters have to be the big spoon...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
