Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i just google imaged poop.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
