Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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