all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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