Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
