Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
