I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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