found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
