you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
50% drunk capacity currently
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
My orgasm happened in two different decades
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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