I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
