I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
