sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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