real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I checked into jail on foursquare
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
