he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
