I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
