why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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