Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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