My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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