also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
