I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
