I wish I could punch you in the face.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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