i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
