He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
